Cape Fear
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: Written for dragonkink meme. Chi-Chi finds her sons' hidden stash of videos. Awkwardness and fears of all that squirms abound-except for Goku. A thesis on how odd the Son family is.


**The Prompt: Weird Porn-The Son Version. **

**People were mentioning on the story about Bra's and Trunks' strange preferences in porn that they'd like to see the Son family version of this scenario happening. So, I guess the idea is that Goku and ChiChi discover their kid's stashes and hilarity ensues. As for the type of porn, I figure that Gohan would have something involving super heroes and capes. As for Goten, maybe something involving Trunks? (Sorry, I like that pairing a lot.) But feel free to be creative about this stuff.**

**(If you go the superhero/capes route, you get special bonus points if you somehow reference the new Thor movie.)**

**The Fill:  
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><p>"Food! Food! Food!"<p>

All three Son men stared at the empty table, gazing at the shined surface with horror. Their eyes, dark, rose to stare upon the person who was responsible for this. She stared back, undaunted by the fear and shock on their faces.

"Mom? Where's breakfast?"

Goku was trying to hold back tears. "Chi-Chi. There's not even toast."

"Sit down. We need to talk."

"No scrambled eggs?"

"Can I at least suck on the maple syrup bottle?"

"No. Sit down. All of you."

Slowly, the boys pulled out chairs and collapsed.

"Mom?" Gohan adjusted his glasses, tired. Videl had left yesterday, taking Pan with her to go visit her father who had been laid up after some mysterious stranger had robbed and knocked him down a flight of stairs. The boy's father-in-law was expected to fully recover, thankfully, but they had no leads on who had committed such a 'heinous act that had them all appalled. Who would attack such a well loved public icon, while laughing and saying that 'he had this coming for thirteen years'? (Chi-Chi's words)

Either way, the absence of Goku's daughter-in-law and granddaughter were bothering his eldest son. A day without Videl to yell at him for doing reports at the table loud enough for Goku and Ch-Chi to hear and yell back, or without Pan to punch another whole in the wall to run cans and strings through to talk to her grandpop across both properties wasn't really a full day. It was an empty, desolate thing that had driven him across the fields and back to his parents' house to sleep on the couch since Goten had completely taken over their old room and refused to let anyone in.

"Mom? Where's the food? Did we do something wrong?"

"Dad did it, Mom. He couldn't work the phone, so he just tore a hole in the wall—"

"It's not about that. And I already know Goku messed up another wall."

"…sorry Chi-Chi."

"But that's not important right now. Right now." Her eyes hardened to chips of obsidian. "Right now we're going to talk about what I discovered under the bed in _your_ old room."

Gohan, as always when being stared down by his mother, started to sweat. Goku leaned across the table and patted his shoulder.

"Now, hey. I was the one to find the stuff. And I still don't get why you freaked out so badly?" Or why it meant that there was no breakfast on the table. Goku considered himself a Saiyan raised human, but there was still some weird stuff he just didn't get that people did.

But, to be fair, Vegeta and the other Saiyans did strange stuff too.

"Goku! The things you found—they were hideous! How could you just act like nothing's wrong?"

"What, the old socks? I mean, sure, those were gross, but—"

"Not the socks. Even though those were disgusting. But, the magazines, the videos, that notebook full of-"

"It was Trunks!" Goten's hair was sticking up more so than usual. "He made me—He bribed me with stuff. You know I can't say no to _stuff_. Wait. What exactly did you find?"

Chi-Chi was grinding her teeth. "I knew that Brief's boy was up to no-good."

"Yeah. It was him. But, seriously, Mom, what did you find?"

Gohan's clothes were soaked and sticking to him. He tugged at his collar as Goku went to get him a glass of water.

"I found, _your _father, found filthy magazines. Like the ones Master Roshi collects."

Goku's sons did their best not to exchange glances. "Yeah. But what _kind_ of filthy magazines?"

"There wasn't any dirt on them," Goku provided, filling the glass.

"The awfulness of them! I have to burn the house down now. Or have a priest come over."

"Okay, sure, Mom. But, what type of stuff was it?"

"What was in the notebook, Mom?" The slimmer boy leaned forward, pale. "And, you didn't say, find an unmarked video tape under their, right?"

Goku started filling a second glass for his youngest son.

"As a matter of fact, I did!"

"Oh, well, that was a tape that Trunks gave me. I haven't looked at it, though. At all. But, you know, it's Trunk's. So I should return it to him."

The tall, full blooded Saiyan could only blink at the look on his wife's face. It was the same look the first time they'd gone out in public together, and they'd gone to buy him fancy new clothes, and he had started to change his clothes right there in the store. Chi-Chi had not been happy at all.

"That's all! I swear!"

"I'm burning all of it. Today. After we're finished with our little talk."

The two young men tensed, then relaxed. Goku casually handed the glasses over, before going to rummage through the fridge.

"Alright. I'm, I'm not going to throw around accusations. You know who you are, and that I'm very disappointed with you.

"I just want to know where I went wrong parenting you. Was it the bedtime stories? The lack of homework? Should I have sent you off to school earlier? Or never let you go to school?"

"…which one of us are you talking to?"

"Was it the fighting? Buu? Cell?"

"I wasn't born when Cell was around."

"Vegeta? Did he have a part in this? Trunks? Bulma? Bra? Don't tell me it was Bra. That _family_. I bet they have piles of porn just hanging around the house.

"Was this because I let Master Roshi look after you? I told him to hide all his revolting magazines and movies from you children.

"Krillin even gave me his word that he would make sure neither of you saw any of that. And Juuhachigou swore that she burned most of it. Marron seems so _normal_. I thought better of them.

"No, no it wasn't either of those two was it? It was your father."

"Who wants eggs?" Goku asked from the kitchen behind them. "An omelets? I know how to make them now. Without any burning."

"Him running off all the time. Forcing you both to fight. He's the reason you're both degenerates."

"Maybe Grandpa left it behind?" Gohan provided, his tie a slack wrinkled blue tongue around his throat.

"This is your fault, Goku! You two never had a strong father influence growing up. No wonder you cling to disgusting _pornography_. Like this."

Both dark-haired boys flinched and looked away as she pulled from a box underneath the table a magazine.

"That is_ not_ mine." Goten assured her, hair sticking to his forehead. Looking like that, and being thinner than his brother, he seemed very young. "I'm not into stuff like that. I think it's pretty obvious who's into _that." _

"How about toast?" Goku gently pulled out a loaf of bread. "If we start up a fire, I could probably make some."

"I won't ask. Don't tell me. I especially don't want to know about the, the well, the green giant things. And the capes. If either of you two mentioned anything about capes, I will disinherit you. Superheroes in general. Tights. Neither of you will ever wear tights again in this house."

"Or armor. Or anything to do with a screenplay about your father's friend's lives. Or any video tapes that are homemade and with shoddy camera work."

Goten almost said something, but then immediately closed his mouth and stared down at his shoes.

"I think there's still some frozen fish in the back of the freezer here…I could put that in the thingy that cooks stuff. The small one."

"Or Vikings. Anything with Vikings. Let's all swear to never discuss this again. Or anything to do with the Briefs. I don't ever want that family in this house or their names spoken in this home."

"Discuss what?"

"I…fine. Fine. I think that's a good compromise. Well. I'm off to work."

"School. I think I need to go to school. No hang on, I graduated ten years ago. Somewhere. I need to go _somewhere_."

"And you're both grounded." Chi-Chi threw the magazine back into the box.

"Aw."

"And I'm not making you breakfast."

"Aawwww."

"You can eat whatever your father decides to cook for you."

"Aaaaaaahhh!"

"Now, where's the matches and lighter fluid."

"Hey, I was just about to ask that myself, Chi-Chi!"

* * *

><p>For away, in a different time and universe and in the same house, Gohan wiped a sudden well-spring of sweat from his brow. His back ached from this position, and from still healing bruises that darkened his ribs and spine.<p>

Outside the room, he could hear his mother cooing over Trunks and how much he'd grown and how handsome he was becoming. Even with his ear a foot from the floorboards, Gohan could listen to Trunk's embarrassment, and listen to him take another cookie. Soon his mother would go on about Goku and their old friends, dead and gone in their shallow graves in different cities.

As usual, the half-Saiyan was helpless to not go over their deaths again and again, until it no longer hurt as much. Chaotzu and Tien killed while trying to protect a town. Piccolo dying to buy Gohan time to escape. Vegeta, found dead in a desert wasteland after trying to fight the female android. Yamcha, left to die in some park after being blown through the chest by the male android to be found by little Trunks. Krillin, poor Krillin, jumped by both of them and left as a joke in some van by Gohan's house.

And always, his father. Not killed by the androids, but by a heart virus.

Right after getting back home, finally, to just die and leave him and his mother alone.

But no, now was not the time to reflect on the past. Or even to look ahead, to the future.

Gohan just wanted to spend time in his bedroom, nursing his wounds, locked in this moment of time. Alone. His mother would reluctantly give him space, pampering Trunks instead while her only son hid himself away. Studying, she wanted to believe. Wanted desperately to believe. Even after seeing the marks the elastic had left on his skin, or the hastily closed drawers, or the mysterious flat boxes under the bed and the hat container hidden on the top shelf of his closet.

His mother was telling Trunk about the time she'd found Goku wrestling pigs. "—covered head-to-toe in mud, filthy, and just grinning like there was nothing wrong whatsoever with sneaking into our neighbor's pig farm and taking livestock-"

In this darkened bedroom, he began undressing.

He kept his power level low, remembering that Trunks was still here. Blood still pounded in his ears, and sweat broke out over his forehead again in a fresh wave. His fingers twitched and shook until he managed to steady them.

No hero could quiver like a leaf. It wasn't proper.

Gohan, no, not Gohan, _Saiyaman_, reached for the magazines and comics he kept under the bed. He was no longer the last fighter on the planet, but a hero surrounded by others who flocked to his side and looked to him for guidance. He was the leader of this superhero organization, and he had a duty to fulfill and needed to go off and save the planet.

His fingers were damp and he reluctantly wiped them on his tights. Then he reached for the comic books, eyes bulging from his face, muscles out of his sky-blue tunic. Yes, oh oh yes this was the issue where Supraman saved his side kick Surpraboy from the teenage lad's evil family that was determined to turn him to the evil life of crime and oh god Supraman showed up just in the nick of time and was it a coincidence without any subtext that their reunion was mostly done off screen? Dear Kami, the way he loomed overhead with his cape billowing…His eyes nearly rolled back in his head, and he smiled for the first time in three days.

There was a knock at the door. "Gohan! Gohan! Your mom just found a bunch of pictures and video tapes of your old friends!"

The knob rattled as his fellow-half Saiyan tried to get into the room.

"Gohan?"


End file.
